


An outstretched hand through the door of dreams

by Ash0605



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: -CW- links to depression and anhedonia, Adaptation of end of S1E2, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Birthday, Filled with my post-Muse Otonoki headcanons, Gen, Rikos Mother appears at the end, Somewhat dedicated to a friend, Tags Are Hard, Whose love of Riko has heavily influenced my own
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ash0605/pseuds/Ash0605
Summary: Seeing Riko struggling with her own inability to change, Chika extends a hand.Happy Birthday Riko!
Relationships: Sakurauchi Riko/Takami Chika
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	An outstretched hand through the door of dreams

_Riko studied the sheet of paper in her hands. “Yume no Tobira?”_

_Chika smiled and nodded. “It was after listening to this song that I seriously wanted to be a school idol, to be like µ’s!”_

_Looking up from the ideas scribbled on the paper, Riko tilted her head slightly. “Like µ’s?”_

_“Yeah! To do my best, put in effort and work together to perform miracles. It made me think that even I could do it and that I could change from the current me.” Chika explained enthusiastically._

_Riko straightened up. The idea of feeling encouraged to change felt comforting. She returned Chika’s smile. “You really do like them.”_

_Chika nodded again, forming a smile as strong as the sun. “Yup! I love them!”_

~~~~~~~~~~

Chika’s final words rang in Riko’s mind as she sat hunched up on her bed. Moonlight from outside drifted in and illuminated her room, painting the vibrant pink of her walls and bedsheets with a pale, ghostly colour. She hugged her rose-colored pillow tight, hoping that it would animate her into doing the things she wanted to do.

Repeating Chika’s final words and her ideas of being encouraged to change did nothing to make Riko move. The art easel in the corner of her room depicted a half-finished picture of Kanda Shrine yet Riko’s fingers didn’t itch with the desire to continue. The handicrafts strewn around on her table in the center of her room felt as unenticing now as they did 2 hours ago. She didn’t even remember what she was trying to make, it had been that long. The grand piano in the corner of her room was as unapproachable as ever, its sleek plastic keys obscured by the dark, dusty cover. Not even the viola laid on her desk appeared to be a more approachable alternative. It didn’t seem like the right time for the books hidden in a box in her closet. Riko couldn’t envision Chopin, Brahms or any of the other great composers turning to their strange fantasies while they were in a slump.

Though, was slump the right word? Artists suffering from artists block and writers suffering from writers block commonly described themselves as being in a slump. Yet, while these phases lasted for different amount of time, they were finite. Riko’s torment was seemingly never ending.

Riko sighed defeatedly, reaching into her shirt pocket to pull out her phone. She felt locked in a siege with her brain, which continued to hold firm. Conceding defeat internally, Riko realized that she would be here all night if this carried on.

After a sharp click of a button her phone screen illuminated into life. She squinted her amber coloured eyes as the light coming from the screen overwhelmed her. After a few seconds of adjustment Riko began scrolling aimlessly through her phone, until a search result returned a video that made Riko’s finger hesitate.

It was the official upload of the performance of _Yume no Tobira_ by µ’s.

Riko stared at the result with blank eyes for a few seconds, after which she reached for and donned her headphones and hit play.

The camera panned down from the starlit sky, revealing the nine members of µ’s in formation. No student at Otonokizaka could claim to not know about them. Yet despite being the school’s saviors, the members of µ’s left nothing behind. No trophies, no pictures, not even a single sheet of lyrics. A student body desperate to idolize them had to find their own alternatives. The members of µ’s who had served a term as student council president were idolized as the perfect example of the position. The club room was overhauled by a group of students determined to return the room to how it was after the members of µ’s left, supposedly to the dismay of its previous club president and vice president.

The music club focused itself on maintaining the streak of consecutive victories at the national piano recitals started by µ’s composer.

The songs of µ’s were all the same to Riko, all things to be adored and looked up to. All of µ’s songs were out of reach. Yet this song seemed to be different. Instead of something to idolize, _Yume no Tobira_ was something that could inspire. Instead of encouraging students to uphold the legacy of the group who saved their school, it motivated a girl to change herself.

Riko looped the video an uncountable amount of times, her thoughts filled with the lyrics and choreography performed on the roof of the UTX building. After picking out and appreciating the different musical instruments used in the composition, Riko started picking out the individual notes of the chorus.

If this song was able to motivate Chika into wanting to change, could it do the same for Riko?

Riko placed her pillow and phone on the bed and slowly started to move towards the piano in the corner of her room. She lowered herself down onto the velvet seat and ran a finger along the dusty cover. After taking a deep breath, she hooked her fingers under the heavy cover and pulled it up, revealing a neat row of black and white keys underneath.

With the piano laid out in front of her, the static of the concert hall returned. As if on cue, her hands started to tremble.

Whether she was sat in front of her piano, swimming in the deep sea with her friends or in the depths of her nightmares the concert hall always seemed to return with its piercing silence and shaking hands.

With those same shaking hands, Riko had closed the cover, stood up to face the audience and bowed in apology. She didn’t even play a single note.

Gods, she really was pathetic, wasn’t she?

Just months prior she was the epicenter of the music club, composing and preparing for the finals of the competition. The streak started by the idolized composer rested solely on her shoulders.

Now she couldn’t even play a note, the disappointed faces of the audience and the jeering, angry faces of the students who had trusted her etched into her mind.

The song she had just listened to on repeat rung through her mind once more, stabilizing her shaking hands.

Could she change too?

Riko fingers hovered over the keyboard, looking for the right note. After finding it, her finger hesitated for a few seconds before pressing the key down, sending a pleasant sound resonating through her room. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and started to play.

_“I’ve been looking for the door of dreams.”_

_“I was searching for our connection.”_

As Riko concluded her performance, she found that the static of the concert hall was no longer tormenting her, instead being replacing with the starlit skies above the UTX building and the melodious voices of the members of µ’s.

Prompted by an excited inhalation beside her, Riko also realized she had an audience. Opening her eyes and turning to her right, she saw an orange haired girl staring back at her with excited red eyes and a brightening smile. A wet towel was wrapped around her head.

As Chika’s mouth widened into a full smile, she give Riko a friendly wave.

Riko’s face contorted in shock, her eyebrows twitching. “Takami-san?” Riko stuttered, adopting a nervous smile.

“Riko-chan! That’s your room?” Chika asked excitedly.

Riko stood up from her seat and wandered over to the edge of her balcony to meet Chika. “Oh, I didn’t realize since I just moved in.”

“You were just playing _Yume no Tobira_ , right?”

“Huh?”

“You were singing it, right?” Chika pressed, leaning out of her window.

“No, I was…” Riko’s eyes drifted down to the banister.

“I’ve been looking for the door of dreams.”

After a few seconds of hesitation, Riko faced Chika again. “Yes, I was.”

Chika chuckled to herself, drawing her hands into herself happily. “I love that song! From the second Love Live—"

“Takami-san.”

Chika’s eyes snapped open as she exited her stupor. “Huh?”

Riko lowered herself down and focused her eyes on the banister, hoping to obscure the worry and distress on her face.

Why couldn’t she change?

“What should I do? Nothing I do is fun. And nothing ever changes.” Riko’s voice was meek, but desperate. She lowered herself down further, as if hiding from Chika.

“Riko-chan.” She wore a torn expression, but this widened into a smile after a few seconds. “Do you want to be a school idol?” She stretched her hand out towards Riko.

Riko’s head straightened up. “I can’t.” Riko countered desperately. “I can’t quit piano.”

It was all she ever had.

Chika was unfazed, continuing to lean further out of the window. “Try it, and if you can smile and change, you can go back to piano.” she reassured. “You won’t be quitting.”

“It’d be rude to try being a school idol with that kind of motivation when you’re trying so hard.” Riko hid behind the balcony railing, curling into a ball and burying herself in her arms, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

Chika had already helped her find the sound of the sea. What had Riko done in return?

She would only drag her down.

“It if helps you, that makes me happy.”

Riko raised her head.

What?

“Putting smiles on peoples’ faces is what a school idol is about,”

Riko stood up again and gasped in shock as she saw Chika leaning out of her window further, continuing to offer her hand to Riko. As if on cue the wind began to intensify, one gust in particular almost sending her off balance, sending the bath towel wrapped around her head tumbling to the ground below.

“Chika-chan!”

After coaxing Riko back to her feet, Chika’s determined expression softened once more into a million-watt smile.

“And that’s a wonderful thing!”

Riko stood and watched as Chika continued to reach out to her, steeling her expression as she stretched as far as she could. Despite her efforts, she would not reach Riko on her own.

Chika wanted Riko to be a school idol, right? In a weird sense, weren’t they already meeting halfway?

She wouldn’t be burdening Chika, would she?

Riko stretched out her own hand.

The pair started to reach for each other, groaning due to the exertion of stretching their arms. While Riko remained modestly behind the balcony, Chika was leaning out of the window further and further.

“We probably can’t reach.” Riko conceded, pulling her hand back.

“Wait! Don’t quit!” Chika exclaimed. She leaned onto the edge of her window with one leg, supporting herself with one arm and reaching for Riko with the other.

Riko’s eyes widened at how treacherous Chika’s position was. It wouldn’t take much to send her plummeting to the ground below.

She realized someone wouldn’t go this far for you if you were a burden.

After pulling her hand back, she hesitated for a few seconds before reaching as fair as she could. The pair continued to push themselves and the gap between their hands grew smaller and smaller.

An electric sensation shot through their bodies as their fingertips finally touched. Seeing Chika’s face illuminate with a bright smile, Riko couldn’t help but reply with one of her own.

~~~~~~~~~~

Standing unnoticed outside Riko’s room, Riko’s mother started pinching herself. After a dozen or so sharp pinches, she conceded that she wasn’t dreaming. Tears of joy started falling from her eyes.

Riko had played the piano for the first time in two months.

**Author's Note:**

> As much as this is a birthday fic for Riko, I also have to dedicate this somewhat to a friend I have had for just under three years now. During a time where I was hell bent on hiding Love Live from everyone I knew, this friend of mine was a great support. This person loves Riko (to the point of crushing on her) and has attributed her to helping him become a better person. After learning about his struggles with depression and ahnedonia and rewatching S1E2, I realised that the scene at the end of the episode was probably where he related to her for the first time. This fic is a result of that plus Riko's struggles being interpret-able as depression anyway. I'm sorry for not releasing anything lighter for Riko's birthday, but his love of Riko has heavily influenced my own, so I thought it would be nice to try. Also I really hope I didn't portray anything about anhedonia or depression incorrectly. Please don't hesitate to let me know if I have, I really want to get this kind of stuff right.
> 
> I took part in a few sprints with some Idol Fanfic Heaven members while writing this! Thank you to Discord users InfiniteLeft, Keito Jurian, scarlett-holly and Jar for sprinting with me!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this! If you have any comments or feedback feel free to leave it here! If you want to reach out on twitter feel free to do so at @ash060500
> 
> I hope you have a good rest of your day and I wish you the best in staying safe!


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